Change Is Going to Come...

Hi my faithful readers:

I hadn't written a blog post in over two years now and then earlier today I felt the urge.  For that I apologize...I have a few drafts of post  that I just came back and finished publishing a few drafts that I had written in the middle of my angst, but to be honest I felt too vulnerable at the time to actually share them at the time.  They felt too real, too raw, too honest for me to parade them around and display them.  This past two years has tested my patience, strained my nerves and I've felt more than a little angry, confused and nervous about my prospects and feeling as if I'd made a wrong turn somewhere. I've always wanted this blog to be a positive place and quite honestly I didn't want to be putting my negative energy out into the universe in the written word.  So, I have kept quiet as a result.

Now that I have a little perspective on the year, I realize that perhaps I needed this time to mature a bit and improve my character through some serious testing.  Overall, I'm still not sure what's happening with me, but since this past summer things have certainly started to look up for me.  I also think that my attitude has certainly changed for the better and I know now that to move forward I have to release some of the doubt, resentments and confusion so that I could begin to focus on the things that are good for me.  I also realized that most of my insecurities, goals and even some of the things I desired really mean very little in the scheme of things.  Quite simply priorities are changing pretty dramatically.

So, in this year of 2013, I'm dedicated to savoring the good moments in life, spending more time with my loved ones and not beating myself up so much when things don't work out quite as I'd planned them to...no small feat for me! If you know me "in real life," then if you see me slipping back into old habits and patterns feel free to say to me "G - I see you slipping."

Thanks for reading and I promise to do better and write a little more often.  It's time for a return to me...the image above was taken by me a little more than a year ago, when I had a friend visiting from Toronto.  I miss taking pictures...I think it's time for me to start taking them again.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Is this thing on?

Hello to my faithful readers:

I can't believe I've waited more than a year to post anything on this blog.  My apologies for such a long break, but hey I've felt that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all - life gets in the way.

I finally landed a job. I moved back to NYC and I didn't make such a big deal about it.  I think there are quite a few people who don't even realize I'm back in town nearly a year  two years after the fact.  I have also realized that it's quite easy to slip back into the rat race.  The past two years  for me have been ones that I haven't felt like sharing because I couldn't find the words.  I'm still not sure the words have been found, but here's my first stab at trying to share a bit of my journey.

Why didn't I make a big deal out of moving back or even getting a new job?  Coming back to NYC wasn't in the plans. I didn't want to come back to the big apple after my year in Belgium.   I still wanted something different.  But things didn't work out that way, bills had to be paid and this was the door open in front of me so I walked right on through it.

This past year I have spent an awful lot of time in my head.  I'm still processing the past two years.  I'm still not sure I know what to make of it all.  I recognize that my attitude has been half committed as evidenced by the fact that I still haven't fully furnished my apartment (after living here for nearly 2 years).   Six-year old me doesn't like to cook (grubhub is her BEST friend) and she really LOVES her junk food.

This year I've spent a lot of time frustrated with some of the choices I made.  I have to keep it real - I was getting caught up in the comparison game and when I looked around at some of my peers I felt like I wasn't stacking up.  Even though I own up to the fact that it was "ME" that made all of the choices - many of them left me with the feeling you get after going out on a few dates with a great guy who then stops calling you back because he got what he wanted because you gave it up too easy.  That's how I spent the first half of last year (2012) - feeling like I was just too easy!

The biggest challenge I face right now is not squandering my potential.  That's my struggle.   My inner voice keeps chanting "don't give up, don't give in - you can do this," but there are some days where my faith feels so far away.   It came to me a few months ago that this past year (and many times my relationship with God) has been like trying to reach orgasm.  Sometimes you have lots of fun trying to get there, but it takes the right set of circumstances, the right person to get you off.  But more often than not, when you don't get there you can end up very frustrated (and perhaps even a bit angry that you've wasted your time).

But after the frustration - perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel...I'm finally starting to see the light.  Slowly.  I see the light.  So for now I'll sign off, but not with out saying as always - thanks for reading!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

PS - this is something I've written about a year ago and didn't publish at the time.

Fatherhood honor roll

My church asked me to write a little dedication to my father and they read it last week when they had their "father's day honor roll" ceremony and presentations.  Here's what I had to say about my dad - I hope you enjoy it!

Protector, Encourager and an example of living his purpose…these are the areas that my father excels and earns his place on the ‘honor roll’ of fatherhood. 

Protector

When I was a young girl, I’ll never forget one of my biggest wishes was to get a t-shirt with my name on the back of it.  At the time, I never understood why my dad wouldn’t allow it, but my mom had to explain to me, that my dad was doing it for my own protection.  You see, he didn’t want me to be fooled by kidnappers who might have enticed me into their cars because they could call me by my name.  This protection from my ‘natural father’ is similar to the protection that my heavenly father offers me as well.  Even now, he sends me e-mails with warnings and continues to pray for my safety when I’ve ventured out to explore the world on my own. 

Encourager

My Dad is a man of few words with me as a daughter.  Like me, he’s much more comfortable saying the important things by the written word.  Often he’ll send me e-mail messages with inspirational stories of encouragement or texts from “The Upper Room.”  The other day he sent me an e-mail expressing how proud he was of me.  Although I don’t consider myself to be an overly emotional person, his note brought tears to my eyes and it was the encouragement I needed to hear in that moment.  My dad, knows the right times to offer me encouragement, much like my heavenly father does. 

An example of living his purpose

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always associated music with my Dad.  When we were kids we’d go to see the bands he was directing in concert or even sometimes get to see him play the saxophone or other instruments.  In fact, he forced encouraged both my sister and I to take piano lessons and music lessons as kids.  I thought for a while that I wanted to make music my career and even went as far as majoring in it in undergrad for a couple of years, before I realized my talents were better used elsewhere. 

My Dad is one of those rare persons who was blessed to recognize his purpose and anointing early on in life.  He made a career out of music and also uses his gifts to serve the Lord.   For me, that’s why he’s an example of living his purpose.

I’m thankful for the fact that God has blessed me with two fantastic parents, but I’m especially proud of my Dad, El Douglas Albritton, Jr. and I believe he deserves his place on the ‘Fatherhood Honor Roll”.


Mwuah,


Georgia Peach

The benefits of unemployment

Hello my faithful readers:

It has been a while since I've posted a blog.  I've been quiet because I things have been quiet for me - I'm still working on finding a the right job for me.  Not working full-time has given me lots of time for self reflection and although it took me a lot longer than it should have while to realize it, having all of this unexpected time off is allowing me to cross off most of the non-work related goals I'd written for myself back in July 2010.

Rather than focusing on how terrible it is that I'm not working full-time, I thought I'd share with you some of the benefits I'm currently experiencing as a result of my unemployment.

1)  I have more time to focus on my spiritual side.  Since I've been home I've felt the need to strengthen my relationship with God.  I'm praying more and attending church more than the every once in a while I did when I lived in NYC.  I didn't make the time before, but now that excuse (no time) has been removed.

2)  I have plenty of time to spend working out and as a result I've lost 22 lbs. (and going) since I first realized I was gaining weight at an alarming rate (for me). Working out is also a great stress reliever for me and it does wonders for my mood.  I have about 8 more lbs. to lose before I reach my target weight and it's been great to have people notice all of the hard work(outs) I've been putting in.

3)  I'm getting to know my family much better.  I'm sure most of you are scratching your head and thinking - "get to know her family better what does that mean?"  Although I saw them at holidays and talked to them on the phone (and later by Skype), there was an awful lot going on that I missed in ten years away simply because I wasn't here.  It's been nice for me to allow myself to catch up with the circles of life happening right here in my own family and getting to know them as an adult.

4)  My friends, former co-workers and acquaintances have been great about sending me job listings, hooking me up with freelance projects, connecting me with volunteer opportunities, introducing me to their network for informational calls/meetings and offering me places to stay when I need to come to town for a visit.  It's a really great feeling when people are willing to lend a helping hand.  There have been a few friends who have really kept me going throughout this period and I'm eternally grateful for their help and support.  Never underestimate the power of encouragement - it really does make a difference on a bad day!

5) I'm also still continuing to learn Spanish - although I'll admit I haven't spent nearly as much time with my grammar books as I should recently.  I do make sure to squeeze in at least an hour per day of Spanish language programming and I'm happy to say that I comprehend (with captions) about 65-70% of the language without looking up the words as much in my dictionary.  I still need to work in my grammar books a lot more though.

Now this isn't to say that I don't have bad days, hours and weeks, but I think the most important thing for me in getting through this time of unemployment intact is my attitude.  I've had to make sure that I really focus on surrounding myself with positive people and positive energy.  It's really easy (for me) to get into a funk of self doubt and self pity, so I have really tried to make sure I don't spend a lot of time talking to people who help me to get to those places quickly (even if it's family).   It's nothing personal, just something I have to do in order to preserve my mental health and sanity.

This period of unemployment has also taught me more about my capacity for persistence and patience.  Some of the informational calls and meetings took me months to set up, but they finally happened - I'm still waiting on a few more to happen.   The fact that they are happening makes me more optimistic than I've been in a long time.  I can't give up! Good things come to those who wait right?

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

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Catching up - a new year, new name and new blog design!

Hello my faithful readers:

I've been quiet of late - my last post was nearly 5 and a half months ago now!  Wow what a difference a few months makes.  It's really hard for me to believe that I spent the last year living abroad and seeing the world. The year away changed me indelibly.

The reason for the silence has mainly been as a result of me processing this sudden change in my life.  I'm living at home for the first time in about 10 years.  The first month and a half were torturous for me - although I was happy to be home, surrounded by my family, I wasn't quite sure of how to  deal with living with my parents.  Especially after having lived alone for almost six years.

I also feel slightly guilty because I haven't done much to explore my hometown.  Nor have I tried to re-connect with childhood friends.   It's as if I'm in a weird holding pattern, waiting for my life to start.   I have to say that my parents have been very supportive of me through this phase - they are indeed a blessing to me.

Although they have been supportive, I must admit that initially there were a quite few squirmishes with my parents.  Sometimes they still happen, but I believe it's a normal part of life and growth, etc. My mom has accused me on more than one occasion of being arrogant.  I think it's simply the fact that she doesn't get my snarky sense of humor or that I am not afraid to voice my opinions on issues and I refuse to let her make judgments (or statements) in my presence that I don't agree with (as I would have a few years ago).  I challenge her a lot more now mainly because my view of the world and of people is a lot more open-minded than it was even a year ago.  

My dad and I used to have regular stand-offs about who would do the dishes.  I hate doing them, but since I'm living here pretty much rent free of course I pitch in to do them.  I prefer an alternating schedule, at first I got the impression he thought I was the hired help.  We had a discussion about it and came to an understanding, now things have improved a great deal.  

I've also started to cook more than I probably ever have in my life...it's a creative release and gives me something to think about other than the fact that I do not have a job. The initial adjustment period was rough, but after the first couple of months I finally managed to settle into a groove.  

My day typically starts with me waking up, catching the morning news shows, then I work out for about an hour at least five times per week (mostly weekdays).  The working out has become necessary because here in my hometown no one walks anywhere;  here everyone drives for even the shortest of trips.  I was starting to gain weight at an alarming rate and I decided that I needed to get working out or turn into Miss Piggy.  I also realized that I have absolutely no will power when it comes to all of the cakes, cookies, candies and unhealthy foods that my mom keeps buying. 

In order to make myself slightly more competitive in the job market - I'm working on learning Spanish, since I have a lot of time on my hands.  I'm watch Spanish TV (normally a 2 hour block of what has become my latest obsession La Fea Mas Bella the mexican version of Ugly Betty) and use Rosetta Stone about one hour each day to learn.  I also recently ordered a few grammar books from Amazon.com that I hope will help me with some of the finer points of conjugations and word order.  

I have to say that when I first started with just using Rosetta Stone alone I didn't feel like my comprehension was all that great, but now that I watch the show daily throughout the week - my comprehension is a lot better. My next goal is to start speaking the language with a few more of my native Spanish speakers friends.  

The major focus of my life is job searching.  I tend to spend a lot of time researching the companies that interest me, industry trends and people that I should network with. My search started as this really narrow project and now I'm starting to broaden out and try to think a little bit differently about the way that I'm looking.  The one thing I noticed was that there are lots of jobs that seek people who can speak Spanish, my biggest motivator for learning the language.  

A few weeks ago I took a two and a half week trip out to San Francisco to have a few informational meetings with some of the companies on my target list.  I also met with a few who weren't on my list.  Ironically most of the meetings were made because of my friends helping to connect me with some of their friends and colleagues.  I found most people in the SF Bay area were quite generous with their time and offered me wide ranging advice from info about the job market, which companies were hiring, recruitment cycles and what to expect lifestyle wise if I were to move to San Francisco.    

The trip out west and returning home made me realize that I need to live in a major city.   My hometown isn't small by any means, in fact I'm quite impressed by how far it's developed since I was growing up here.  I felt at home in San Francisco.  I felt like I was waking up from a long nap.  There's something, a special energy about living in a metropolitan city.  Being in San Francisco also made me think about returning to NYC.  I'm open to the possibility now that I've been in San Francisco for a visit, because although I loved San Francisco, I realized that it's no NYC.  And I miss NYC. A lot more than I'd care to admit.

That's the update for now.  I'll try to blog more often...although most of my thoughts happen on Twitter where I have lots of little 140 character blogs daily.  :)   Thank you as always for reading.  I didn't mention it before, but the blog has a new name and design.  What do you think?

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Where are you from?

Hello my faithful readers:

I'm back in Istanbul again and I have to say that Turkey has been a blast. It's a lot different than Greece, but overall the people I've met (in Turkey) have been just as nice (as the Greeks). Since I've been on vacation the first question that I always get asked is "Where are you from?"

It became a running joke for Oksana and myself because it almost invariably is the first question out people's mouths when they saw us. I'm exotic looking (read: I'm black) when compared to the other folks you saw walking around in Greece & Turkey. When they realize that Oksana and I were traveling together they express surprise and immediately try to figure out why an American is traveling with a Russian!

I especially love it when the pushy vendors trying to get us into their restaurants, rugs or souvenir stands try to start up conversations by speaking to me in French or Portuguese to get a reaction. I have observed that here in Turkey they are likely to start with French instead of English when addressing me. I'm sure they think that I'm either French or African (from a french-speaking country) although one guy in Greece started speaking to me in Portuguese at first.

I've even started to ask this question too because let's be honest, it's the easiest ice-breaker there is when you're meeting someone new. I've met some of the nicest people from around the world on this trip including: Australia, Canada, Greece, Germany, Italy, Japan, Taiwan, Turkey and yes even the US. Hopefully we'll keep in touch - I exchanged information with a lot of the people I've met.

I'm here in Istanbul solo for the next two days. This morning my travel buddy Oksana headed back to Belgium to attend our graduation ceremony. I won't be attending the ceremony because the scheduling didn't work out for me, but as of Monday I'll officially have my MBA. :) It's also the day I head back to NYC for an overnight layover until my morning flight home to Georgia.

This trip has been magical for me - I really have loved every single moment both here in Turkey and Greece! When I get back to the US, I will have to hit the ground looking for work. But for now, for the next two days, I'll focus on savoring the last few moments of my vacation! Enjoy the pics of some of the people I've met while along the way!

It's time to lose some weight...

Hello my faithful readers:

This morning I'm sitting here on the patio of my bungalow and realizing that my life is pretty freaking amazing. I wake up pinching myself everyday that I've the opportunity to travel and see the world when so many are suffering right now. I'm currently in Paros and I think this will be a laid-back place for us after the frenetic sightseeing in Athens and the festive party atmosphere of Mykonos.

So far Greece has treated me well - all of our accommodations have been solid. Our room in Athens wasn't as spectacular as I'd hoped, but if that's the worst thing we'll experience then it was still fine –I loved the hospitality I was given there.

I'm also starting to feel much better now that I'm kicking the cold or bug I started getting in Athens. Yesterday I got a little over heated (too much time in the sun) and I started to break out in hives again, but today I'm clinging to the shade, avoiding direct sunlight and covering up my skin so that I don't melt like the vampires in "True Blood."

I’m also learning a lot about not getting so attached to my material things on this trip – at every location I’m leaving something behind simply because I have way too much luggage for all of the moving around we’re doing. We have been lucky with our transfers from the ferries in Mykonos and Paros, because our hotels picked us up and dropped us off for free. If I had to carry all of my luggage on public transportation - it would be absolutely horrendous.

The motivation behind the shedding of my seemingly unnecessary belongings is my superstitious hope is that if I leave something behind, eventually I’ll return. I’m mostly happy that all of the things I’ve left behind have been on purpose (I’m known to leave very important things unintentionally).

Now the only thing I have to do now is make sure I don’t weigh a million pounds by the time I leave Greece. So far the food has been good and I’m making my way through all the Greek desserts as well. I'll have fun trying them all though. It's worth every pound I'll gain. :)

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach