Hello my faithful readers:
Last night I had a lovely evening hanging out with my friends and fellow classmates. One of the highlights of my night was attending a reception for one of our visiting speakers, the former leader of the SDP in Iceland and Minister of Finance and Foreign Affairs and External Trade. It was here where I had one of the most awkward moments in my life.
Here's how it happened (as I recall). One of my classmates introduced me and another classmate to his wife (Mrs. Iceland), as Americans. Here's a rough approximation of what I remember from the exchange with Mrs. Iceland.
Me: "Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you."
Mrs. Iceland: "Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. I thought you were African because you're so dark."
Me: (with a blank expression on my face if my classmates who were there can be trusted) "No, I'm American."
Mrs. Iceland: "I've been to America and I've never met anyone as dark as you are..."
My American Classmate (who happens to be caucasian): "No we've got plenty of people like her in America, especially in the south."
Mrs. Iceland: "Are you two here together?"
My American Classmate: "No we didn't come here together."
After this exchange, I checked out of the conversation and she proceeded to chat with some of my Indian classmates. My classmates and I laughed later about the situation with Mrs. Iceland, but I finally had a reason to discuss this topic on my blog. Race and it's effect on me has been on my mind for a while now. The one thing that I noticed since my move to Europe is there seems to be more openness to just say what they're thinking, even if it could be perceived as off-putting by others.
As an American, I find that Europe is not nearly as politically correct as the United States has become. People here are likely to utter racist, homophobic and misogynistic comments in public forums -- and that's what I've personally heard in English, I can only imagine what I'd hear if I spoke French or Dutch fluently.
For example, last week in our M&A weekend, one of the speakers made the slightly offensive comment "All you'd need to do is hire a couple of cheap Indians and you can get around the security of the virtual data rooms."
When I heard this comment, in a public forum, all I could think was if they had made this type of comment in America, they would have been fired or at least strongly reprimanded. One of my other classmates from a country in Eastern Europe also noticed the comment and mentioned that he was offended as well.
I have to say that since living here in Belgium, I've run into many people who have never met an "African-American" before. In fact, most people have never interacted with a person of color before. If I'm asked by one more person to touch my hair, I think I'll scream. I understand that for most people it is not coming from a hurtful or malicious place at all; they are curious and want to know more about the different texture of my hair. Somehow, as well-intended as it is meant to be, I always end feeling like some sort of animal at the petting zoo when the topic comes up.
Most of the people of color here in Belgium are from Africa and India. Especially amongst the Africans, I have noticed that there are not many working in high paying, professional careers. I do not begin to assert that I know enough about the reasons why there are so few Africans working in white collar careers here in Belgium, but I believe that it has to have some effect on how I'm viewed and treated outside of the safety of the walls of Vlerick.
When I first moved here back in August, I set up an appointment to view a studio apartment. I confirmed with the man on the phone that I would be there and when I arrived, an older (white) woman answered the door. She didn't speak much English, but from her body language, she was telling me that I wasn't welcome. I did not even get the chance to see the place and that was within my first week of moving to Belgium. The experience was painful, but I have tried not to let it color my experiences. It is my experience that most of the younger generation are a lot more open to other races.
Being here in Europe has awakened a curiosity to find out more about my roots. In the US, they started calling us "African-American" back in the 1990's, before that I was simply known as 'black' and if I'm honest, that is still what I refer to myself as most of the time. I don't have enough knowledge about my families roots to say where my family might have been from in Africa. It makes me wonder if I can truthfully call myself "African-American?"
What many people do not realize is how much diversity there is amongst "African Americans" in the US. We all have many different hair textures, skin tones and backgrounds. That diversity is what makes us such a rich, beautiful people.
What I appreciate most about this whole experience of living abroad is how different my life is from a year ago. A year ago, I would have never imagined that I would be sitting in the same room with the former Minister of Foreign Affairs and External Trade from Iceland. Although I have experienced a few awkward and uncomfortable moments since I've moved here, it's well worth it. I'm learning more about myself and growing as a person each day. Although there are days where I feel overwhelmed by the pressure of processing so many new experiences (+ my course work), I wouldn't trade this experience for the world.
The other day (before awkward situation #1046) one of my classmates said to me, "I don't see you as an African American, I just see you as an American."
I hope that one day we'll get to a place where all people will truly be judged by the content of my character and not the color of my skin and it won't matter so much.
Thanks for reading today. This is something I've wanted to get off my chest for a while. I'd love to hear what you're thinking. Sound off!
Mwuah,
Georgia Peach
5 comments:
This situation makes me wonder how a man with an utter lack of social graces and cultural awareness could hold a position such as Minister of Foreign Affairs and blah blah blah. I understand that Iceland might be void of the diversity of color (or diversity in general??) that exists in the US, but that's no excuse for its people, especially government officials, to be so ignorant.
I agree with you that people in Europe do not seem to be as conscious of political correctness as US Americans have become. An openness to speak freely and express what your thinking is a great thing. In contrast, less than flattering statements, and worse yet assumptions, based someone's skin color, weight, religion, dress, or sexual orientation is unacceptable in my opinion.
What patience and strength you must have to deal with these situations regularly.
Thank you for your comment Wendy. I have to say that I believe that in his defense Mr. Hannibalsson is probably a little more culturally sensitive than his wife seems to be. He did not make these comments, but it was his wife who made them. My impression is that he is a lot more polished than his wife seemed to be about these things. He was not a part of our awkward exchange, thankfully, so I can't confirm or deny his beliefs or attitudes.
I want to make sure that this point is clear. It's tough to deal with, but it's also an opportunity to educate myself and others as well.
Gleana, Thank you for your raw honesty and for sharing your reality. I cannot imagine having to deal with these so called awkward situations. I think you're not getting an education but giving some lessons also to all of those with whom you come in contact. I am proud to know you and call you my friend. Thank you for your wisdom, insights, and for carrying yourself with such grace.
Hi Gleana. I lived in Europe for close to a decade. I laughed when I read your blog. I do remember quite often being petted and questioned about my skin color. I became desensitized to the open curiousity and questions. What we refer to as "political correctness" here in the US does not quite apply the same in some countries. I guess I kind of appreciated the fact that people were open with their questions or comments whether or not it hurt or offended others. I prefer to know what misconceptions a person may have so that they can be corrected or informed. It helps to discern ignorance (which can be combatted) from hate. Very interesting blog. I miss ya!
Hey G,
My cousin is having similar issues in London. She was telling me how racist the people in London are and what makes it worse is that her professors are as well. I felt badly for her because she's caught between a rock and a hard place. Do you stand up for yourself and risk getting a poor mark because of your complaints and look like the militant angry black? Or do you not say anything and feel like your soul has just been sucked out of you?
Glad you are doing well and keep your head up G!!
ONWARD
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