I lost a friend this past weekend. Paul Timothy James, Jr was probably one of the few people that knew me best about 10 years ago. He was like the big brother I never had; one of my biggest cheerleaders who made me believe I could (and should) do anything I set my mind to do.
It doesn't feel like Paul is gone. I had not been close to him in years, although I was blessed to have caught up with him sometime last year, after we fell out of touch for quite a few years. Social media was the sliver that connected us after all these years and for that I'm thankful to the power of Facebook for giving us even that briefest connection.
Paul always saw me as way more interesting and intelligent than I ever saw myself. He was always encouraging me to strike out on my own and start my own business and we even worked for a while on producing a concert series called "Grown Folks Music." We even went as far as trade-marking the name, but that's just the nature of Paul, always working on something. There was always something going on with him and he was a man of great character - always fighting for the underdog in every situation.
The one thing that strikes me about Paul was that he had so many different friends from so many different walks of life. Intellectually I always knew this, but it was made evident when I visited him at the ICU in his last week here on earth at Brooklyn Methodist Hospital. I met people that I'd heard him reference over the years as well as people I'd never even heard of - people who mattered in his life. That's the thing about Paul James, he took people under his wing and took care of them, even if he hadn't seen you in years, you had the assurance that he would remember you and give you the shirt off his back if that's what you needed at the time.
Paul James lived every last drop out of his life. He was a warrior, fighting until the end, although he always fought more for everyone else than for himself. I wish that he was still here so that I could give him one last hug and tell him (when he was awake to hear me), just how much he meant to me. He was someone who knew me well, at a time when I probably didn't know myself. I lost my big brother from another mother and right now I'm a bit numb right now. In my way of coping, I can just pretend that he's off visiting with friends. In reality, I won't ever get the chance to say to him what I should have said when he was alive to hear it, "I love you man, thank you for being my big brother. I will miss you."
Peace and blessings to everyone who was touched by Paul for those who loved him know that he's in a much better place right now and maybe, just maybe, he's finally allowing someone to help him on the other side.
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| Paul Timothy James, Jr. (July 24, 1960 - July 20, 2013) |
Best regards,
Georgia Peach
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